Sunday, July 16, 2023
I saw this moth the other day. I think it is a Virgin Tiger Moth. It was beautiful. I was sitting outside, yes, in the 90-degree heat, though I was sitting at a table with some shade. Why was I sitting in the heat instead of inside with air conditioning? That is a good question.
For the previous hour or so, I was at Danbury Mall. I went there simply to take a walk. I like to do a minimum of 10K steps daily, and I did not feel like doing several miles in the heat and sunshine. I decided to opt for the A/C of a building. I did my walk, and it was very interesting.
I rarely visit the Mall. This was my second time there this year. I have no need to go there in terms of shopping. I cannot imagine there is anything there that I “need.” Are there things there I might “want,” as compared to “need?” Maybe so. I think, in part, retailers want to convince you that you need things, that they are important. That is the role of advertising and displays. Our society runs on an economic model that continually requires people to spend money. We are all part of that spending to varying degrees. The advertising in the Mall is broad and diverse. Everyone is targeted somewhere. The marketing is colorful. Imaginative. Enticing. Entertaining at times. People in the photos are generally very happy looking. Businesses want you to think their products have some responsibility or association with that happiness.
There’s a tangent here, one about a societal norm of being happy in life, almost exclusively. While I love to be happy, to laugh and to smile, there are other emotions that are just as real, meaningful, important. And, I want YOU to be happy, too! Happy all the time? Well, frequently. But I am not going to hold it against you if you are not happy. I might, in some situations, try to make you happy. I might talk with you and try to find out why you might not be happy. Each situation is different. Each facial expression, each emotion has its own origin and merit.
The Dalai Lama, in his book How to Practice, talks about the goal of being content, in contrast to being happy. Ponder that.
Years ago, well before I read that book, I worked with a woman with whom I had a huge disagreement over that very contrast. In a somewhat philosophical discussion, we “argued” over this generalized viewpoint of life. She said she wanted to be happy, that was her goal in life. I told her my goal was to be content. I mentioned that if I was content, I would probably also be pretty happy, too.
I think she felt that being content inferred that someone would settle for less, that it meant a lower quality of life. Not at all. I want a high quality of life, and I generally push myself to do the best I can, high quality, to the extreme, in just about everything I do. Whether that was at work, before I retired, or at play, in such things as athletics, reading, writing, doing road trips, camping, hanging out with friends, or doing whatever. I err to the side of extreme push rather than any kind of laziness or settling for something less. I have some drive within me. The point of contentment, in this regard, is to give one's actions great effort, do your best, and be satisfied with it.
Perhaps another word could be substituted for contentment, something like fulfilled or satisfied.
Back to marketing at the Mall. The storefronts, the walkways, ceilings, kiosks are all loaded, super-saturated, with communication messages to buy. Buy, buy, buy. Did it work with me? No. But I did buy something as a result of being there. It was by a different route, because, one bright spot in the Mall is the newly opened Barnes & Noble. It is a two-floor store, full of books. I had not been in a physical bookstore of this size in a long time. It was energetically overwhelming. It was inspiring. I wandered from section to section on each floor. On the first floor, there is a section just with blank journals and art supplies! There are children’s books and young adult's books there, some music books and even vinyl, there are games, and there is also a Café, something that can be quite a treat. On the second floor there is fiction, non-fiction, travel, food, science, history, psychology and self-transformation, and more. Walking through the store, seeing all of this, it was so much fun compared to looking at books online. Looking at books online is great, sure, and it can be more informative in that reviews are easily available. But, being surrounded by thousands of books was exciting. I thought of the immense power of creativity, energy, dedication, and diversity that was represented by these books, how all these people did all this work to create something new. It is a wonder of the world, and it was available to me! (um … think of libraries, too.)
In browsing a collection on a table, a book attracted my attention. There did not seem to be a central theme to the set of books on this table. The title of my book is How to Change Your Mind. Why would that attract me? That’s a reasonable question.
Sometimes in life, we do our very best, we put our entire hearts and minds into “something,” such as a job or some event, or someone, such as a family member, a partner, or a friend, and things just do not move forward or work out as one might expect. Often in the case of the “something,” there are people involved, central to the issue. And there comes a time, after all is said and done, you simply are not on the same page with another person or other people. You come to the shocking conclusion that despite how strongly you were bonded to them, you are seemingly not from the same tribe, so to speak. You go your separate ways.
An example, briefly put, involved my bond with my Mom, and my concerns and plan of action in caring for my Mom as she aged. My brother Richie and I were on the same page. We wanted hands-on, at home care for Mom, in which we each would provide substantial time and effort of our own spending time with Mom. We had huge, frictional disagreements with my other three siblings, who did not want to participate in such care, and would rather pay someone to do. In summary, I was told they were “unwilling or unable” to help.
Long story short, it was very upsetting to me that those three behaved as they did. It was eating away at my soul. It was gut-wrenching. But, you come to a point when you realize that it does you no good. It is unhealthy to have that stress. And you have to change your mind, you have to change your way of thinking and feeling, for your own health. I have moved past that experience, but that, in part, is what attracted me to How to Change Your Mind.
Then it gets more interesting, as the subtitle is What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence. And, the author is Michael Pollan. I read a previous book of his, The Omnivore’s Dilemma, which was well received, very informative, and enjoyable. His other books are of interest as well. In fact, on the same display table, there was a second book of his: This is Your Mind on Plants.
Another thing that attracted me to How to Change Your Mind is I am reading another book, Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, by Mathew Walker. It is a fascinating look at the brain, factors related to sleep, and how they work to provide optimum performance. I am sure there is overlap between the two books. Also, it will be interesting to hear what Pollan has to say about mindfulness and his experiences.
So, did I buy these books. No. Well, not yet. I thought they were interesting, but I had not plan to buy them. I continued strolling towards the rear of the store, letting my eyes wander along the shelves, seeing things of interest, perhaps, but nothing grabbing my attention like How to Change Your Mind. And then, there it was again! I walked around a few minutes and at one point, like a magnet, I saw it again, on the Psychology shelf, as if following me.
I ended up buying both books, but not at Barnes & Noble. I bought them at Amazon. Less expensive. But now I am thinking to myself, should I have gone to a local bookstore and bought them full price to support local businesses? Hmmm. That’s another thought.
So, I left the bookstore. I finished my 10K steps in the Mall. I went to my car, and I was driving home, when I decided, not for the first time, not for the last, to stop in to Whole Foods and have a Brown Cow Maple Yogurt. I made the purchase. I leave the register and I am heading to a table, looking at them and figuring out which one to sit at along the inside of the windows. But the thought pops into my head: eat the yogurt outside. I look at the outside tables, and I see there is shade. And it just felt right. So, out into the heat I went. For some reason, I did not sit at the first three tables, but chose the fourth. Who knows why.
I made myself comfortable in the shade and began eating my Brown Cow, with the layer of cream on top, which you know about only if you have had the pleasure of a Brown Cow. Out of the corner of my eye I see this colorful movement. I thought it was a butterfly at first, one of a variety I had never seen before. It was fluttering, as if moving in place, wings moving rapidly. It would be still for a couple seconds, then start fluttering again. It did not move from an area of about a square foot. It did not fly above the ground more than a couple of inches. I picked up my phone and took photos of it. This went on the entire time I was there, about thirty minutes. It was quite exciting.
I posted a photo of it on Facebook, and I received several suggestions as to who it was. One was that it was a Spotted Lanternfly, an invasive species that should be destroyed (if that was what it was.) I looked online at photos of a Spotted Lanternfly. It did not match, and I concluded it was not the invasive species. Two other responses suggested it might be a Jersey Tiger Moth or an Ornate Tiger Moth. I compared my photos with online photos of them, but it did not seem like the right match. However, thanks to my friend John’s link to the Ornate Tiger Moth, under “similar” species, I located what I believe is a good match to the Virgin Tiger Moth. Maybe so …
So, why was I sitting in the heat instead of inside with air conditioning? So I could see this moth, which in turn led me to writing about it, as well writing about other things. One thing leads to another …
Have a good day ...
Left to right
My photo
Tiger Moth from iNaturalist
Spotted Lanternfly
Ornate Tiger
Jersey Tiger
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